Saturday Night

So it’s Saturday again, typie typie time. Hit those keys.

What I really wanna be doing is writing my book or making cards. I can’t really do anything extra right now besides clean and make masks. I have to make about 25 masks and I am hoping to be done by the end of the week. I cut out all the pieces and started putting them together. I’m going to pleat some tonight, yes at 11 pm. Jeez I’m tired.

Book is not coming along. I honestly think next January will be my JAM. Kids will both be in school, hopefully, and its a slow season at work. In the Fall I’ll probably be working 5-6 days a week and my day(s) off will be catching up on cleaning and baking. Speaking of baking, I have made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for the last weeks. I’m mostly off dairy so I have been giving them to my kids and friends. This week I’m going to make oatmeal raisin and bring a bunch to work as it is my friend’s birthday. Damn, I’d love to make a new card for her but I probably don’t have time. I have lots ready to go at least!

How are you managing your time? I find it difficult. Personally, I’m trying to balance work, kids, hobbies and chatting with friends. I feel like keeping in contact with friends is really keeping me sane.

Side note, I really need a haircut. I like my long hair right now except for the fact that the ends are getting tangly. My feet are pretty fine but I’d die for a pedicure too. I just enjoy getting them so much. Spa day post quarantine? You know what? That sounds good in THEORY. However, I feel like I’ll be one of those people that it’s going to take me a hot minute to get comfortable getting that close to people again.

Alright, enough daydreaming about nice hair and soft feet, time to sew some masks!

Happy Saturday everyone!

Sleep Deprevation

I got 11 hours sleep last night. It was so needed. My stomach has been upset all week, reacting to dairy I believe. Even as I write this, my eyes close, reminiscing about the exhaustion I had just yesterday. Although I feel so much better, I’m still sleepy. I crave coffee.

Work yesterday was literally embarrassing because of how groggy I was. Everyone I talked to said I looked tired, or pale, or sad. I’m really hoping I look better at work tonight after all my sleep! Besides looking like shit, work is going good! I’m back to my main department which is so nice! We are shipping out all the winter and Easter stuff. I feel like I have so much job security in this role. Sure, sometimes we are slow, but when they need me, they REALLY need me. Not too many people are trained in that department. There is two of us with the job title, and maybe four more that can help a little bit.

I feel like last week I really pushed the limits of not sleeping. I stayed up cleaning and talking to friends. I often woke up at two am and couldn’t get back to sleep til five. I’d work til 11 and couldn’t fall asleep til three am. I was all over the place. Gavin mostly doesn’t nap so napping isn’t really an option for me anymore.

Even though there was a lack of sleep issue, and even though there are diet changes afoot, I was incredibly happy last week. Not like bipolar mood swing happy haha. It just felt nice to have these personal connections. In some ways, with quarantine, I feel closer to my friends than ever. It feels like we are putting in extra efforts to entertain each other. Just this morning, a new friend of mine was sending me silly videos he made. Totally made my day.

That’s pretty much how its been going for the last few weeks though. Erratic sleep patterns, the food issues are new but before this I had a cold for three weeks. Working, doing the homeschool thing, trying to get my house in order, sewing masks when I have time, and working on strengthening the relationships. Now more than ever, I’ve been realizing how valuable the people in my life are. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I took people for granted, but sometimes I get caught up in things and don’t always pay attention.

Hope you are doing well and getting your sleep in!

We Are All Tired

I’m at the gym, relaxing in a massage chair, waiting for my iced coffee to kick in. Admittedly, not the most strenuous of workouts so far, but I do pay for gym daycare. Having some me time is lovely in this moment.

On Fridays I have my son home all day, I do the school routine with my daughter. At dinner time I head to work and am there til 11 at night. Saturdays I’ll usually work 8 hours and do some cleaning. Sundays my kids have sports and then I go to work. Bed early on Sunday because I’ll work at 6 or 7 am on Monday. This is my weekend routine, every weekend.

During the week I mostly hang out with my kids, do art and homework. I try to keep up on the daily cleaning but I honestly hate cleaning. Of course, when there is five minutes of tidiness, it feels amazing. My son is king of trashing the joint. On Wednesdays, my grandma will come watch my son. I’ll walk my daughter to school, walk to work, work, walk to her school, then walk home. I get a lovely 15 minute break at lunch time that I cherish. I’m usually starving by the time I get home, so now all my jackets have granola bars in the pockets.

In September, I hope to work more since my son is in school. Because I work shorter shifts, I’ve been scheduled for six days a week before. My grandma is only up to watching my son two days a week right now and I do want to spend as much time with him as I can. If I wasn’t so deep in debt, I would only be working weekends. Those Monday and Wednesday shifts really add up.

Am I burnt out? Sometimes it feels that way. The grind of cleaning my house gets to me. It feels like it is always time to deep clean something. I really can’t let the house go because my grandma watches the kids at my house, which is probably a blessing. I’m hoping that once my son gets a little older, he will be less messy (he’s three right now). My daughter is six and she’s pretty clean. At the very least, he will be in school all day so he will have less time to get into things!

So, a little burnt out, but incredibly grateful. Grateful to have two AMAZING kids. Grateful to have my grandma’s help. Grateful to have a job, especially one that works around my schedule. Grateful I don’t have to pay for before/after school daycare.

Why did I even bother writing this? Partly, I’m venting. I’m tired. I’m trying to do better all the time. However, I want to give empathy to those other single parents, working parents, tired parents, parents of messy kids, those thinking of becoming single parents, those considering going back to work, those who need to take some me time. You are not alone. We are all grinding away. We are all doing the best we can.

Hey, look at that! My coffee kicked in! Time to actually work out! (Haha) I better go do that.