I have a theory that MCAS is actually out of control FPIES, food protein induced enterocolitis syndrome. I also have a theory that FPIES is not as rare as people think. I think it is incredibly common in babies but is misdiagnosed as reflux and milk allergy. FPIES is known for causing projectile vomiting when you begin solids at six months old. It isn’t the normal gag reflux since the vomiting is usually between 1-4 hours after eating. My son would vomit at an hour almost to the minute every time if he didn’t nap. I believe that sleep slows down digestion and can mess with the times a little.

I’m not a scientist but from research I will say the microbiome is involved. FPIES and MCAS are autoimmune diseases. From what I’ve gathered an important factor is upping the good bacteria in the baby’s gut. Some things you can do to do this are spending more time in nature, time around animals and breastfeeding. I will say the FPIES can be an unpredictable rollercoaster. Not every person will react the same. I’ve had periods in my life where I felt cured and I had periods where I am very stressed and sick. I do think though that my children and I may have MCAS as well, mast cell activation syndrome. Sometimes I eat a trigger food and my body reacts strangely. Chills and lethargy instead of vomiting. My daughter has very sensitive skin and we all have regular allergies. I once heard that 25% of kids with FPIES have regular allergies. It is still such a newly discovered disease the research grows every year.

So now you know the facts and theory, I’m now going to tell you about my life. A patient’s and parent’s perspective. I aim to give you hope that things will get better but reality is, if your child has a severe case, you may be in the trenches. I know of kids who are three years old only on formula and three foods. I know of kids who develop kidney disease. Our little autoimmune kids need our help. I like to say our babies have sensitive systems. The will grow big and strong they just need our help. My life is a warning to what happens when you ignore FPIES. When you don’t know what is going on, when you don’t believe your kid’s tummy aches. I truly feel the faster you treat FPIES, which is just avoidance of food they are allergic to, the faster they recover and get over it. I am 28 years old and I still struggle with FPIES sometimes. I know there are other adults who have a random sensitive stomach. There is hope for you too.

Karma & Reincarnation

Don’t worry I don’t think I’m God. I just love metaphors and stories. I wonder how real past lives are. Maybe you can pull in the past life that is most relevant to what you need now, not necessarily what your past life is. I don’t know if I believe in past life trauma. There is so much trauma from this life to resolve. Maybe you pick the life you do to work through your past life trauma. Maybe it’s karma.

This may be my lifetime to do something great. Maybe I do this all the time, or I have been working towards it my whole existence. I wonder if I was a witch in a past life. Witches have been a theme lately. They are on the return. I am a witch just learning about her power. I love pendulums and tarot. I love putting an aloe plant on burns. I love sending healing energy and I give massages. I love cooking. I charge my water with positive energy. I transmute negative energy into positive energy, I’m an emotional healer. I’m a witch. Is that a problem? Am I a therapist without a degree?
Sabrina is back. The witches are coming.

YouTube is my teacher. It is a vast, free, school. Although, I have bought courses from YouTube channels. There is an astrology one I’ve been eyeing. There is not a lot of information on Vedic astrology and I find it fascinating. I’m a Leo cusp of Cancer but in Vedic I’m just a Cancer. The world is still evolving. Who knows who is right? Maybe the answer is in the middle.

I was raised Catholic/Presbyterian. I have turned my back on the faith. I was Atheist for years. I don’t know if I believe in God. I don’t know if I believe in a creator. I do romanticize it though. What if there were many Gods? All in the universe. Twin flames, the originals. My Aries goes off exploring the world and I feel for his energy. We are just stars and souls. Travelling in space. What if I made Earth for my Aries to conquer? Bask in the sun my love. Enjoy your Sag moon, explore the nature. Man created.

What if I come down to be with him? What if Lilith is real? What if the thousands of babies that were killed were just our failed attempts to take care of these new creatures? What if it took centuries for parental instincts to be intact? What if genetics took time to evolve and Lilith was blamed for the still borns? What if Lilith created magic on Earth and Adam made fire and buildings?

Paradise Lost? Paradise evolved.

I believe in reincarnation. I believe that heaven and hell are here on Earth. Good and evil are inside us all. We can choose our move at any moment. Run by our emotions, we don’t always make the best choice. Everything happens for a reason; that doesn’t always mean it is a good reason.

I come from a gambling family. My great grandmother, Anna, was a bookie. She was arrested and all four of her kids were left at home. She is passed away now. I lost four grandparents in two years. I wonder if they are haunting me. I wonder if they are up in the spirit realm making bets on my life. Is she still a bookie?

I imagine them choosing to stay in the spirit realm to watch over the family. I have felt haunted since July. Maybe I was just having some post divorce psychotic break. I am skeptical of everything I say, I have seen too much to ignore it though. My friends and I are fascinated by the occult. “There are other worlds than these” – Stephen King, The Dark Tower series

The magic of life is that we don’t know what is true. I do know I refused to get my kids baptised and my family has a problem with that. I feel like it is an insult to the church to baptise a baby with no intention of ever going back to the church. This summer there were 3 moments of ghostly interference that shook me. The first was my phone fell off the kitchen counter and landed exactly flat, shattering the screen into the shape of a tree with roots. The second I was talking to my daughter in the kitchen and it looked as if she was pushed. She fell back suddenly but no one was near her. The third, was after my son’s ear tube surgery, it looked as if he got pulled under water by his feet. His head got dunked. Baptism?

Maybe I am over reaching. Maybe it isn’t ghostly interference. I do feel as if my children are protected though. My daughter’s bully got moved schools for Senior Kindergarten. Not that she was bullied very hard, but the girl did push her a few too many times. Once I saw Ellie ask the girl “Why are you talking to me?” My girl is strong, and she loves punching. Bullies are more of annoyance than anything.

Karma may be what we make of it. If you cheat on your taxes and steal money you might get caught. If you are a good person and share with the world, you develop a good reputation. Putting out good into the world is just the safer choice. You manifest your good. Work hard and you go towards your goals. That is my plan at least. Continue to try to be a good person. Hope to reach my goals. Continue to grow my brand. Do my homework and research. Keep pressing forward. Hope things turn up. Hope to be not poor one day.

Jesus Is Not Coming Back For You People

When I was a teenager I would always call my father and stepmother “you people” when I was mad. They were grossly offended. Always asking what it meant. You two people. I’m basic and literal as fuck.

I am also a mother of two. I watched my son as he was sick and he looked as if he was dying. As a mother, I can only imagine what Mary went through. Jesus died and some people still question if he was even a human who lived. The world is in pain. His message was twisted. Sex is still shameful in a lot of cultures. Why the fuck would she let her baby boy do that shit again?

If I was Mary I would come back and go full mother on the world. Make them clean up their own messes. Take responsibility for your own actions. Stop being so God damn codependant. Yes, you can be happy yourself. Stop looking to God. She’s busy healing the Earth we fucked up. I would let my son come back, if he wanted to and quickly encourage him to get a job or go on vacation. I would say “Fuck these people. Go be happy.”

Whenever we worship someone, somehow it gets fucked up. Money collected, hierachy, secrets. Come on guys, just don’t be an asshole. Find what makes you happy without hurting others and do it. Start companies, go horse back riding, get a colouring book. Learn who you are, what you want and decide if you have the balls to go for it. Take some God damn responsibility for your actions or inaction.