How’d May Go?

Guysssss I’m finally getting my house in ORDER. It’s slow but it is coming along. This week I packed up 10 garbage bags full of stuff. I think there were like 3 just of kids old artwork!! (I kept a couple special pieces). The thing is, I live in a two bedroom apartment. With two kids. We all have a lot of stuff! I’m really particular on what I let myself have in my apartment, so I haven’t had to get rid of any of my stuff. I did do a movie and book purge a few months ago too. It was nice to get rid of the baby toys.

On that note, I’m 100% decided that I am not having any more kids and I am okay with it. I think I’m honestly more of a teenager & baby person. This adorable, yet messy kid phase is pulling at me. Like seriously. The talk back from my 6 year old daughter is insane. We fight, but we love each other a lot. It was just simpler when they were babies. Want a cuddle? Want a boob? Want a nap? Here’s a chew toy. So simple. So cuddly.

According to our Snap streak, I’m on day 42 talking to my man friend. Interested what day we get to lol or if we get mad at each other and ruin our streak. (haha) I’m not talking to any other guys anymore, besides my platonic friends. Snap streaks, future standard of romantic relationships? I hope so! I never really got into Snapchat before him, but it is actually really adorable and fun. I was super mad about the UFC thing (see last post) but he made it up to me. I’m happy that I moved on.

Work is going really well. Been busy. I have gotten to work in my primary department all month long. I’ve sewn some masks for friends at work. I still have 25 masks to make. I don’t know if I will actually be able to sew masks to donate because I had already accepted so many orders before they asked. I feel really behind. I haven’t really sewn much in the last two weeks because I have been cleaning and in need of some down time. Today, right after this, I’m going to get started on cutting out a bunch of fabric and putting elastics in. I am so glad I stocked up on fabric when I did because Walmart has been DRY for weeks!

Hope all is well for you guys!!

Saturday Night

So it’s Saturday again, typie typie time. Hit those keys.

What I really wanna be doing is writing my book or making cards. I can’t really do anything extra right now besides clean and make masks. I have to make about 25 masks and I am hoping to be done by the end of the week. I cut out all the pieces and started putting them together. I’m going to pleat some tonight, yes at 11 pm. Jeez I’m tired.

Book is not coming along. I honestly think next January will be my JAM. Kids will both be in school, hopefully, and its a slow season at work. In the Fall I’ll probably be working 5-6 days a week and my day(s) off will be catching up on cleaning and baking. Speaking of baking, I have made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for the last weeks. I’m mostly off dairy so I have been giving them to my kids and friends. This week I’m going to make oatmeal raisin and bring a bunch to work as it is my friend’s birthday. Damn, I’d love to make a new card for her but I probably don’t have time. I have lots ready to go at least!

How are you managing your time? I find it difficult. Personally, I’m trying to balance work, kids, hobbies and chatting with friends. I feel like keeping in contact with friends is really keeping me sane.

Side note, I really need a haircut. I like my long hair right now except for the fact that the ends are getting tangly. My feet are pretty fine but I’d die for a pedicure too. I just enjoy getting them so much. Spa day post quarantine? You know what? That sounds good in THEORY. However, I feel like I’ll be one of those people that it’s going to take me a hot minute to get comfortable getting that close to people again.

Alright, enough daydreaming about nice hair and soft feet, time to sew some masks!

Happy Saturday everyone!

Expectations VS Reality.

Last night I stayed up for three hours cutting pieces of fabric to make masks. In all fairness, I was also texting. I got the front and back for about 25 masks cut out. I still have to cut out the middle pieces, plus, do all the ironing and sewing. I have a few friends who want them and I am happy to make them. I’m a bit tired and a bit behind on housework, but it is good for me. I’m not the world’s best sewing expert. I’m still learning and I am getting some really great practice in!

I got my sewing machine when my six year old daughter Ellie was a baby. I couldn’t afford it but I usually get birthday money from my family, and then, in laws. I currently have mixed feelings about the fact that they helped buy it. It’s the only thing left in the house that I can remember them buying us. Actually, the baby stroller. The baby stroller was given to us by my in laws during our first baby shower.

Now it’s bugging me a little. It really shouldn’t but it does. There are just so many hard feelings between us. I am grateful for everything that they have done for my kids and our family. At one point that was a lot. I don’t like acknowledging that I needed them. Admitting that we didn’t have the money for a stroller or sewing machine. That is just me being a Leo and prideful though.

Why did I even want a sewing machine? I had this vision of being the “perfect housewife”. You know, baking for the family, a clean house and sewing dresses for my daughter. In the end it felt impractical. You can buy so many dresses for reasonable prices. I didn’t think sewing to be SO expensive. I didn’t expect to need SO much practice. I thought I would have had more time. I believed I would be better at it, sooner.

Even though I am now separated, and I have a little less patience than I want with my kids, I still have this vision of how I want to be. I am learning. I am growing closer everyday. As my kids get older, well, there are pros and cons to them getting older. Now, they get into everything but one day they will both be at school all day. Maybe I never made my daughter a dress, but I did make an outfit for her doll, which she cherishes. Maybe I’ll be the grandma who bakes and sews for everyone.

Do you have any hobbies?? What did you envision for yourself??

Current Mood: Gratitude.

So I’m behind on posting. This week has been kind of exhausting. I’ve been working longer hours some days because of Coronavirus. I’m grateful to be able to work though.

I’m also grateful for my ex right now because without him I wouldn’t be able to work. My grandmother was watching the kids twice a week, so I could pick up extra shifts, but we are worried about getting her sick. My ex is now watching the kids two nights a week ontop of having them all weekend. I’m actually home with them more (of their awake) time now that I’m starting work so late.

The deal was that I will cook him and the kids dinner the nights he babysits. So far I’ve made homemade meaty pasta sauce with rotini, roasted chicken and vegetables and one night we had chicken Caesar salad. Next week I’m making homemade chicken noodle soup. I’m getting lots of recipes from the TikTok.

I’m trying to get the kids outside a bit more, just for walks around the block, no socializing of course. They are taking the quarantine really well. I’m really proud of them! My son learned to use the potty. We are still using diapers at night and first thing in the morning. I stopped using diapers during his nap though.

Alrighty, that’s the update. I guess I better start thinking of what to write Saturday so I’m not late again haha. Best wishes everyone, stay safe.

Goalsetting in 2020

When I started 2020 my goal for my blog was, well, to do it. At some point I finessed that goal, and set out to post at least once a week. Sometimes, I want to post everyday but that is not sustainable. I also don’t want to bombard you with manic ramblings. I’ve decided a happy medium is posting twice a week for the rest of the year. I don’t know if I will do that forever but I do think I can do it for this year. Wednesdays and Saturdays.

I don’t want to make goals for follower count or statistics because I can’t control that. I feel that with time, and practice, my writing will get better. 84 more posts of practice should help with that, along with some reading on writing/blogging. After the year is done and I see how many followers I have, maybe in 2021 I will make a follower goal.

At the start of the year, another goal was to lose 36 lbs, putting me under 200 lbs. Right now I’m at 233. I was doing really well but then I got some sort of tendinitis in my foot and stopped exercising for the most part. I still have to walk to and from work, which can be very painful. Around the same time I started eating dairy and pork again, because they no longer upset my stomach. Yay, feeling healthier that way. I may have overdid things though in the eating department lol. I’m okay with the choices I’ve made. I’ve been enjoying life and eating lately. That being said, am I watching what I’m eating again? Yes, I’m making more an effort to eat healthy. Still a little depressed that I’m not working out, but I know it’s temporary. My goal is still possible, however, as long as I’m down in weight, ideally about 220 or under, at the end of the year, I’ll be happy.

I have two credit cards. A goal for 2020 is to pay the higher interest card off completely. I’m on track for that. This past week I bought some shoes (see my last post Splurging on Myself), and I just ordered an art drying rack, which ended up costing me $800 after shipping and taxes. Why the F would I spend $800 on a drying rack? Right now, we are using a big box as a drying surface. Since it is only one layer, it is not the most space efficient. My kids and I are all artists. We fight over drying space all the time. We sometimes lay things precariously on the floor, which is a super dangerous decision with a toddler. This wood drying rack is the only one that I could find that suited our needs, and it’s the same kind that we fell in love with at the Early Years Centre. Even if my kids don’t end up being artists, I am an artist/crafter. Sometimes I use oil paint and it takes weeks to dry. Ok, I’ll stop justifying, but seriously, I think I’ll use it for the rest of my life. I didn’t factor in my tax refund in my debt repayment plans, so all is good with the splurging lately! If I wasn’t going to make this goal I wouldn’t have bought the drying rack this year. It’s really important to me that I get rid the balance of this card, and keep it off forever.

Speaking of art drying racks, I never made any art goals at the beginning of the year. I’m not going to let that stop me from doing it now. I think I had an idea of a goal, but it doesn’t really mean much unless it is specific and measurable. In February I made a goal of doing a TikTok everyday, mostly arty. It was to inspire me to create. Lately, I’ve been working so much on my blog (writing, plus adding the home and photo pages), that I haven’t focused on TikTok. In February, I did gain 100 followers for my efforts, which I’m pretty proud of.

My new art goal for 2020: to create a new card every week. Sometimes I make duplicates of the same card, but I want to make sometime new every week. I have some new stamps and dies I need to try out! Sometimes, I get really into making backgrounds and spend all week just doing that. It can lead to me having piles of backgrounds with no idea how to use them! Finishing cards regularly will keep my stocks fresh for my bestie Ami, and keep my Etsy shop up in people’s notifications.

So, I’m a mom. Hey, how are you other parents? 2020 goal only applies to the summer here. Take the kids to the GOOD park every week all summer. I work a lot, so not going to commit to more than once a week. We love it there. It is about a 30 minute walk from our house, little longer if we stop at Timmies on the way, but worth it.

My last goal for this year was to keep my house clean! It’s going okay. I hate cleaning when I could be crafting or blogging. Right now I am writing this procrastinating a sink full of dishes! I will get on it though, and I feel like I am doing a lot better with it. Goal measured by the amount of my grandma’s comments and complaints lol. I’m joking, or am I?

So, I just went on and on. It’s your turn! What are your goals for 2020? Have they changed since the start of the year?

What Is Your Legacy?

Part of me doesn’t care if anyone reads this blog. Part of me hopes no one in my family does, but I hope my children do when they are late teenagers. I hope they read everything I’ve written. I hope they see every photo I’ve ever posted on social media. There’s a strange thing about life these days, when we die, no one is fighting over a photo album. They can look at mom’s Instagram, isn’t that odd?

Why would I want my kids to read my blog?
– sometimes I talk about them and I want them to know how proud I am of them
– I want them to know about things on a deeper level, once they are old enough and ready
– to see what hard work and commitment can accomplish
– so they can know me better
– to start a dialogue
– I may change my perspective as my life progresses, I may learn and evolve; I want them to see that is okay. What’s important is that we are always growing as people
– maybe I’m a little narcissistic, or just proud of it

I don’t know what my kids will be when they grow up but I know they love art. I personally wish I had continued my passion with art as a hobby instead of taking a 15 year break. Art is a skill that I wish I had more of. Now I’m not saying that I will FORCE my kids to continue with art. I will say that I plan to encourage and motivate them, especially when they are teenagers. Right now it’s easy, they love art. They draw, colour and paint everyday. Even if they don’t go into art and don’t want a side hustle, creating is so fulfilling. It can give you such a sense of pride and accomplishment. It can be therapeutic.

I find art fun, but I struggle since I haven’t been doing it my whole life. I find writing more therapeutic. It isn’t about being the best writer, I’m definitely not. It’s about panging on the keys, releasing of my raw emotions, the processing of events passed that still bother me, and the reminiscing of the good memories.

Do you have a craft you are proud of? What is your legacy?