I wrote a post a long time ago, that has long since been deleted, called I Should Be Cleaning. I always feel like I should be cleaning (or sewing). This weekend I planned on painting my living room. Even in this moment, I feel like I should be working on that instead of plugging away at the keys of my computer. So far, filled all the holes and sanded. I cleaned half the area I was going to paint. I kind of gave up after that.
Why did it have to be this weekend? Well, the kids spent an extra day with dad so I could do it, but, more importantly, I was supposed to have 3 vacation days from work. Work got crazy and I decided to cancel my staycation.
I still felt an overwhelming pressure to paint this weekend.
I don’t have any weekends off until 2021 now. To be honest, I haven’t had a full weekend off since I started my job almost two years ago. With my custody with the kids, it makes more sense for me to work every weekend when they are with their dad. I did try to take off my 30th birthday weekend this year but they were pretty desperate and I worked the Saturday.
I am committed to actually taking some proper vacation time in 2021! I do not want to wait that long to paint though. My plan is to paint this week while the kids are asleep and some Tuesday while I am off work and the kids are at school. If I want to paint this week, what does that mean? Well, it means that my furniture is staying in the middle of the room. It means that my apartment will be a clusterfuck for the week while my kids are here, which is not what I wanted.
I am stressed and tired. I think tonight I will try to catch up on sleep. I will give myself some much needed self care. I need it. I can’t live on Monsters, RedBull and coffee everyday. Every few days I need a really good sleep. Maybe, I’ll be able to prime the walls tomorrow if I get the walls clean tonight.
To be honest, I feel so conflicted. Painting takes time away from daily chores I need to catch up on. I know that getting through this work will make me happy. I know that a few dishes can wait. I know that I can fold laundry while my kids are painting pictures. However it works out, I think it will be okay. Wish me luck!