I Was Told To Let My Son Die, Fuck That

Not naming names but when my son was six months old he was in the hospital for FPIES. We had switched to formula due to doctor recommendations. They were worried about my health while breastfeeding on such a restricted diet.

Within a week we had tried three different formulas and he was allergic to them all. It was a long weekend and he couldn’t keep down any of the prescription formula. We brought him to the hospital who said he needed to be breastfed. We went back to it immediately.

The person, who was close to our family, had been against breastfeeding Gavin from the start. They knew that most sick babies take formula and they were very concerned about my diet. I called them to let them know that Gavin was in the hospital and the conversation got heated. They told me I can’t go back to breastfeeding him and I need to let him die. They were convinced that Gavin wouldn’t make it no matter what and I was just going to die too if I kept going.

There’s a lot of choice words I have to say if I was still talking to this person. I fucking saved his life. I’d do anything for my baby boy. I couldn’t live with myself if I had just given up and let him starve to death.

One thing time has given me is this: I get it. I don’t agree with it, but I understand where they were coming from. I understand that they were scared and they thought they were helping. I understand that they just love me and my husband and were tired of watching us struggle.

I don’t know if I can ever forget it though. Not just that comment, but the months of fighting over breastfeeding. I don’t know if we ever want to see each other again.

I hope that if you have a baby out there, it’s healthy. I hope that no one harasses you over your choice to breastfeed or formula feed your little girl/guy. I hope that the people around you can support you past their own fears.