Artist & Motherly Goals

I thought I would be a better mother. I thought I would stay married. I thought that if I got divorced, I would be the fun house. Apparently, not. Apparently, my daughter has more fun at her dad’s with his live in girlfriend and her dog. Apparently, mom is too busy and doesn’t do as much art as said girlfriend does with her.

It all makes me very sad.

The thing is I’m trying, however, I do have too many projects on the go. I’m trying to paint the apartment. I’m not only making resin things, I’m trying to post them on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and Etsy. I’m also sewing and making gift tags.

I’m trying to make some money to pay off my debt. So far I have way outspent what I have made, but I am optimistic. People are receiving my pieces well. I’ve done the math and it can be really profitable, if it sells, and if I actually use the molds I’ve bought. Most molds, if I sell 1-3 pieces from it, I’ve made money. Anything beyond that is amazing. I now have a small collection of glitter and dried flowers. I have a lot of molds. I haven’t used all my molds yet, but I want to; I plan to.

The issue is space. I can’t leave things out willy nilly because they take two days to dry. I have one shelf in the wine cabinet. I fill one 15 oz cup with resin and that is what I use once or twice a week. I want to try to do it twice a week to get more stuff done.

The thing I am mostly focused on is keychains and pop sockets. I do make bigger things, however, I do not have the boxes to ship them, so nothing big is listed. I want to buy the boxes and start doing those bigger things, however, I want to wait a while until the living room is all painted and I can afford everything I want from that store including 2 computer chairs. I do not like to pay more shipping than I have to!

I feel like if I can make this art thing work, it will be extra income for me in the kids. I love doing arts and crafts and my goal is to take home 10k a year from my hobby. That money would pay for their university. It would also give me financial stability when they turn 18 and I no longer get money for them anymore.

I don’t want to have the plan of finding a man to live with. Actually, I don’t really want a stepdad for my kids, while they are living with me at least. I don’t want the drama. Maybe, I will meet someone wonderful that will end up being part of the family. I just believe in relying on myself. I believe the safest plan is one where I take care of my family and don’t lean on a relationship that might not work out.

I do resin when the kids are at their dad’s apartment or when they are asleep. I have to open the windows for ventilation which can be a little chilly but it is usually boiling hot in here year round. I have the kids here during the week so right now they are in school, and because of our work schedules and me getting full time in September, we opted for them to do in person schooling. So in reality, I have 4 hours a day with them. Sometimes I am cooking, sometimes I am cleaning. Right now I am blogging while they lay beside me on devices. I do try to do art with them. Sometimes, after school my daughter isn’t up to art and she just wants a show and a snuggle. We have an art desk and now that I am making less masks (also am trying to sew now when they are asleep), we have been at it more. We all sit and do crafts or my son may play with toys there. We are together.

Since the comments about loving daddy’s house more, and the obsession with the girlfriend since she met her, I am determined to spend more time at the art desk. I need them to understand in there tiny little adorable heads though, that mommy kind of has two jobs. Mommy also doesn’t have help like daddy does now. I am blessed that I can be home for those four hours a night. I don’t want to waste them. I don’t like her comparing, but maybe, just maybe, it is making me a more involved, better, more present mother.

Pushing Myself With My Art

This week I finished a little resin succulent pot holder that I have been working on for a month! I honestly didn’t think it would turn out as well as it did. The whole month I had anxiety about the resin drying or my choices. I honestly thought it would look stupid and it was gorgeous!

How did I make this most beautiful thing? Well, I used Thick Pour resin, mixed for 5+ minutes, added some glitter, alcohol inks and pressed flowers. Thick Pour is only recommended for 2 inches deep at a time so I did it in layers.

I had sooo much anxiety and self doubt with this project, until the very end. Getting it out was hard and I was terrified to break my very expensive mold! It held up though.

Resin is something I only started this year. I did spend way too much money on it; on molds, glitter, tile and the resin itself. I don’t have regrets though because I really pushed myself as an artist. I went from making cards to making 3D objects. I am also learning to sew and have made over 100 masks. Growth is important to me. I never want to become stagnant.

Art is my retirement plan. I want to do it my whole life and I dream of one day it being my full time job. I have 14 years before I need a second job. I’m hustling like it is next year. Selling art is hard but it is coming along. I think it gets a bit easier once you are established. I have noticed my social media slowly growing. I get a huge smile every time someone favourites an item in my Etsy shop. The thing is, I think I am so in love with the process, I believe I can do it. I love creating and posting my projects. I am determined to keep working at it until it is an actual business.

Let me know what you think of it in the comments!

What Is Your Legacy?

Part of me doesn’t care if anyone reads this blog. Part of me hopes no one in my family does, but I hope my children do when they are late teenagers. I hope they read everything I’ve written. I hope they see every photo I’ve ever posted on social media. There’s a strange thing about life these days, when we die, no one is fighting over a photo album. They can look at mom’s Instagram, isn’t that odd?

Why would I want my kids to read my blog?
– sometimes I talk about them and I want them to know how proud I am of them
– I want them to know about things on a deeper level, once they are old enough and ready
– to see what hard work and commitment can accomplish
– so they can know me better
– to start a dialogue
– I may change my perspective as my life progresses, I may learn and evolve; I want them to see that is okay. What’s important is that we are always growing as people
– maybe I’m a little narcissistic, or just proud of it

I don’t know what my kids will be when they grow up but I know they love art. I personally wish I had continued my passion with art as a hobby instead of taking a 15 year break. Art is a skill that I wish I had more of. Now I’m not saying that I will FORCE my kids to continue with art. I will say that I plan to encourage and motivate them, especially when they are teenagers. Right now it’s easy, they love art. They draw, colour and paint everyday. Even if they don’t go into art and don’t want a side hustle, creating is so fulfilling. It can give you such a sense of pride and accomplishment. It can be therapeutic.

I find art fun, but I struggle since I haven’t been doing it my whole life. I find writing more therapeutic. It isn’t about being the best writer, I’m definitely not. It’s about panging on the keys, releasing of my raw emotions, the processing of events passed that still bother me, and the reminiscing of the good memories.

Do you have a craft you are proud of? What is your legacy?