Quarenbelly UGH lol

Found out today that over the last three months, I’ve gained 10 lbs. I’m in a shit mood. Actually it was more like 13 but I started my diet last week. I thought I had gained like 5. A lot of things contributed. The gyms are closed. I started driving to work instead of walking twice a week. I’ve been sitting in the office instead of walking around at work lately.

The worst thing that happened was McDonalds closed. I know it sounds crazy! However, I had a diet plan worked out that included McDonalds and was affordable. I would always get a hamburger and a Jr Chicken. When I had to give up eggs, I switched to two hamburgers. Dinner would be 400-500 calories and under $5. I used to buy a case of Coke Zero and bring a can with me to work.

3 months ago I was FPIES reacting to dairy, soy, pork, eggs and bell peppers. No cream in my coffee for me. Even though my stomach got better, and I started having double double coffees again, I kept with the two burger things. I loved it and I was LOSING weight.

After McDs closed, I started eating more Walmart food. I would get a lot of the hot food counter. Chicken strips, wedges or chicken pieces a lot. That’s over a 1000 Calories, but, also, I would get a coffee Monster which is around 250 calories. Totally delicious dinner.

That is the past though. I am reacting to dairy again so no more coffee Monsters. No more hot food counter because it’s just not that healthy. The last few weeks I have been eating a lot of sushi at work. The pack I get is very low in calories. I end up being starving after work, but that is besides the point.

What is the point?? I need to get my shit together or I’ll have to buy new clothes soon. Everything is a little too snug for my liking!! I’ve started my diet. I’m really trying. I want to make more time to workout but I have like 30 masks to sew and an apartment to maintain. I’m finding it hard to justify the time. For now, I’m super focused on my diet and eating healthy. Last week I made homemade chicken noodle soup and this week it was a huge pot of chilli.

The person that I was kind of seeing but am definitely not because they wanna live some secret, underground tunnel life, is dieting too and doing well. That was motivating. We were, I thought, the same weight so that was cool until I realized that I gained way more than expected. Feeling the urge to catch up to him, even if we might be ending things once I get the nerve, or I decide to be all about that secret hobo lifestyle. IDK read my last post talking about my bruised ego. That’s basically the other half of why I’m in a shit mood.

Anyways, hope you all are doing better than me right now! How’s everyone’s quarendiets going??

Goalsetting in 2020

When I started 2020 my goal for my blog was, well, to do it. At some point I finessed that goal, and set out to post at least once a week. Sometimes, I want to post everyday but that is not sustainable. I also don’t want to bombard you with manic ramblings. I’ve decided a happy medium is posting twice a week for the rest of the year. I don’t know if I will do that forever but I do think I can do it for this year. Wednesdays and Saturdays.

I don’t want to make goals for follower count or statistics because I can’t control that. I feel that with time, and practice, my writing will get better. 84 more posts of practice should help with that, along with some reading on writing/blogging. After the year is done and I see how many followers I have, maybe in 2021 I will make a follower goal.

At the start of the year, another goal was to lose 36 lbs, putting me under 200 lbs. Right now I’m at 233. I was doing really well but then I got some sort of tendinitis in my foot and stopped exercising for the most part. I still have to walk to and from work, which can be very painful. Around the same time I started eating dairy and pork again, because they no longer upset my stomach. Yay, feeling healthier that way. I may have overdid things though in the eating department lol. I’m okay with the choices I’ve made. I’ve been enjoying life and eating lately. That being said, am I watching what I’m eating again? Yes, I’m making more an effort to eat healthy. Still a little depressed that I’m not working out, but I know it’s temporary. My goal is still possible, however, as long as I’m down in weight, ideally about 220 or under, at the end of the year, I’ll be happy.

I have two credit cards. A goal for 2020 is to pay the higher interest card off completely. I’m on track for that. This past week I bought some shoes (see my last post Splurging on Myself), and I just ordered an art drying rack, which ended up costing me $800 after shipping and taxes. Why the F would I spend $800 on a drying rack? Right now, we are using a big box as a drying surface. Since it is only one layer, it is not the most space efficient. My kids and I are all artists. We fight over drying space all the time. We sometimes lay things precariously on the floor, which is a super dangerous decision with a toddler. This wood drying rack is the only one that I could find that suited our needs, and it’s the same kind that we fell in love with at the Early Years Centre. Even if my kids don’t end up being artists, I am an artist/crafter. Sometimes I use oil paint and it takes weeks to dry. Ok, I’ll stop justifying, but seriously, I think I’ll use it for the rest of my life. I didn’t factor in my tax refund in my debt repayment plans, so all is good with the splurging lately! If I wasn’t going to make this goal I wouldn’t have bought the drying rack this year. It’s really important to me that I get rid the balance of this card, and keep it off forever.

Speaking of art drying racks, I never made any art goals at the beginning of the year. I’m not going to let that stop me from doing it now. I think I had an idea of a goal, but it doesn’t really mean much unless it is specific and measurable. In February I made a goal of doing a TikTok everyday, mostly arty. It was to inspire me to create. Lately, I’ve been working so much on my blog (writing, plus adding the home and photo pages), that I haven’t focused on TikTok. In February, I did gain 100 followers for my efforts, which I’m pretty proud of.

My new art goal for 2020: to create a new card every week. Sometimes I make duplicates of the same card, but I want to make sometime new every week. I have some new stamps and dies I need to try out! Sometimes, I get really into making backgrounds and spend all week just doing that. It can lead to me having piles of backgrounds with no idea how to use them! Finishing cards regularly will keep my stocks fresh for my bestie Ami, and keep my Etsy shop up in people’s notifications.

So, I’m a mom. Hey, how are you other parents? 2020 goal only applies to the summer here. Take the kids to the GOOD park every week all summer. I work a lot, so not going to commit to more than once a week. We love it there. It is about a 30 minute walk from our house, little longer if we stop at Timmies on the way, but worth it.

My last goal for this year was to keep my house clean! It’s going okay. I hate cleaning when I could be crafting or blogging. Right now I am writing this procrastinating a sink full of dishes! I will get on it though, and I feel like I am doing a lot better with it. Goal measured by the amount of my grandma’s comments and complaints lol. I’m joking, or am I?

So, I just went on and on. It’s your turn! What are your goals for 2020? Have they changed since the start of the year?

Let’s Do This February

I think I mentioned before that I feel clustered. Not quite overwhelmed but very busy! Ontop of being a single working mother, I have been trying to read the Gunslinger by Stephen King, cardmaking up a storm and trying to promote that as much as possible. I have gotten into Tik Tok and have been making some videos of me using alcohol inks. I’m definitely not one of the more talented at it, however, I’m getting better. In an effort to improve and keep it up, I want to challenge myself. This February I am going to make an art video everyday. The majority will be alcohol inking but some will be cardmaking or marker spraying.

I’ve spent so much time lately posting on social media I’m a little bit burnt out but I’m pushing through. I’ve been getting into a good routine. Reading has taken a backburner but that is okay. I probably won’t start my tattoo for another 2 to 3 years. I want to be completely debt free anyways. (I’m reading the series and related books before I get an inspired tattoo sleeve). I’m now kind of leaning towards a sleeve of just mutant animals with a Scorpio prince & mermaid Capricorn for my kids. There also has to be a red crab, like Sabastian from the Little Mermaid. My mom always wanted a boy and she would have named him Sabastian, which I feel like is an awful name, no offence. It’s a bit of a spite tattoo, and I hate the colour red. It’s literally triggering for me lol. Sometimes though, that masculine energy rages up inside of me and I simply call him my beast, for he represents my rage. Not that masculine energy is bad like that in any way. It’s just that I feel more masculine when I am feeling aggressive like that. So I will have my little mutant crab, an acknowledgment to that side of me. The side that I repressed for so long.

Now I feel balanced. I feel like I let out a lot of my emotions over the last two years. Is everyone forgiven? Well, I am getting a spite tattoo (lol), however, it really is just my way of accepting things and taking the power of my life. This February, this art video challenge, it’s for me. It’s not for the likes. It’s not to show off to my family. It’s just something I feel I need to for myself. To bring myself one step closer to my goals.

Sorry if I was all over the place with this post. I’m feeling fluid like my art these days.

Currently listing to Motivation by Dope.