Two Kids or To Three Kids

Someone asked me last night if I wanted more kids. I giggled and said maybe. The truth is I’m really good either way. My kids are so perfect. I just miss having a cute, cuddly, breastfeeding baby. Babies grow up though and I will once again long for it. I’m sure when my kids are teenagers, I’ll miss the way they are right now. Every moment seems fleeting. The truth is, I never really expected someone to look at me with my two kids and be open to possibly, one day, maybe, having a baby with me. I was caught off guard. If it is the right decision is a completely different story, but right now I’m in my emotions. The smile I got when I said I would be open to getting married again to the right person. I guess it is just what I needed in the moment. I needed someone to look at me like that. I needed to feel validated. I needed to feel like maybe there is hope for the future. Maybe I will be with someone if I choose. That being said, I’m still completely on the fence about if I want to live with someone while my kids are still living with me. Definitely, yes, after they move out. Before? It would take someone really, really special. Obviously, if I wait twenty years I’m definitely not having more kids. In financial practically, its impractical to hope for it. Did that make sense? Basically, I was made to feel really good about myself and my future. I’m not going to pretend I have a crystal ball. I’m going to try to be less cynical about my future and see what comes my way. Until then, I love my kids, I love my job and I love the life I have. It’s totally okay if nothing changes.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s