After My First Rape

I oscillate these days whether I call it molestation or rape. I was 11. He was on top of me and it ended up making me give him oral sex. I felt violated. I felt like my virginity was lost. I call it rape. I was trapped.

A year after it happened, a friend in my school told me she slept with him too. I was shocked. He was a few years older than us. I hadn’t told a soul what happened. I was worried he hurt her too. In reality, I think they were just dating.

The weekend that it happened it was a weekend fishing trip with my grandma and her boyfriend. It was his son. Shortly after my friend told me about the sex, and I had my horrified look, two older boys were at my school playing with fishing wire. It got wrapped around my neck and left a mark for like a week. I definitely think it was a threat. Too late to report it to the police. Maybe if my parents would have known things would have been different. Maybe my father could have helped me through it.

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