I believed in nothing and everything at the same time. The concept of God has always bewildered me. If there was a God, a single God, who created him? As time went on I began to believe if there was a God, she was definitely a woman. Women have the wombs of creation. Women literally grow, give birth and breastfeed new humans. Maybe God is a man and he contracts out the have having babies, but I think that since God always needs to be worshiped in religion, that she likes credit for creation. At times I have wondered: is God was a triad of Adam, Eve and Lilith? At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter who God is because penises and vaginas are just parts. They are fun tools. Souls are genderless. Maybe God is everything and anything she wants to be, with the right to change her mind whenever she wants. Maybe 2000 years ago she wanted to be a man for a while, getting caught up with society, thinking it was the more powerful gender. Now the tides have turned, and she definitely wants to be a woman. Maybe God has the biggest ego of them all.
The twin flame experiment could be considered God’s retirement. We are in our teenage years and it is time for us to do our own laundry and take out the trash. People pray to Gods all over the world and ask them to fix their problems. God is always shamed for not doing enough. Maybe God is real and it is all magic. Maybe it is just time we learn to manifest. We become little Gods of our own lives. Maybe God is a mother and wants us to be successful. The tools are around us. Maybe she doesn’t retire at all. Maybe the twin flame collective is an intervention. Believe whatever you want to believe. It doesn’t matter if you believe in God or not. It really doesn’t matter to me what God you worship. I personally don’t believe there is a God today in the way that we think.
I have unique ideas rooted from many religions. As I learn and grow, my beliefs may change. I think the point of religion and God is to move forward the human race. Religious texts are full of stories and lessons. They are teachers. Don’t be an asshole. Learn the rules of the land. Back in the day, where there was religious persecution, believing in God just made practical sense. It was a great way to fit in, join a group, survive. Churches can do a lot of good like food collection, helping the impoverished, having a group to look out for you when you are sick. The problem I have with religion is interpretation and corruption. Competition, believing that one religion is better than the other, and God only loves you if you were born into a certain one. If you don’t do some ritual, you won’t get the presents. Religion is fucked up in my opinion, sorry. That is my point though. We are all just going through experiences and learning and growing. Our souls are all growing. Maybe we aren’t looking for a way to impress God with our religion; what if we are looking for soul growth and experience. I am just theorizing. I am just questioning everything. That’s what I do.
I’m skeptical about everything and now I am skeptical about magic. Interested though. My practical, logical side may always gets in my way. My fear of looking insane really doesn’t help. I’ve always believed in ghosts and aliens. I wasn’t sure if I believed in angels. Maybe angels are just people put here to do good. They learn about the dark side of the world and then transmute the energy. Maybe angels are martyrs and unsung heros. Maybe God, if she is real, hopes everyone is her little angel, like a proud mother. If we are all her children, maybe she wants us all to learn and move forward. I don’t believe in hell as an afterlife. I believe in duality. I believe that there are so many people on earth living their hell right now. Maybe when you die you have a choice to come back to earth or to work as a spirit/angel. We are all just stuck here and there are jobs to do. Where do you want to apply? What do you want to study next? Do you want to do the work?
I believe in karma but I come from a gambling family, so I see it a little differently. I imagine my passed great-grandparents up there running things. In my mind, my Anna is still a bookie, running bets on my life; who I will turn out to most be like or if I’m stubborn enough to really become a monk and wait for my twin flame. Maybe I am extremely famous in the spirit world and they are playing a game. I don’t necessarily think if you do something wrong karma is going to hurt you just cause. I think that when you do good things, towards the collective good, you are more likely to be accepted and succeed. If you are dishonest or hurtful, people might remember and punish you. I think that if you live your life as a shit person maybe you don’t go to hell, maybe you just are at the back of the line. No one is pulling favours for you, you have less spiritual help, you get last choice on the job list. Want to come back to earth? Too bad, no free babies to go into. The collective good is protecting our race and good vs evil is fighting to flip people.
I imagine that some real good souls, albeit egotistical or competitive souls, come into difficult lives on purpose. My mother in law once scolded me for never doing anything the easy way. I like to think I am one of these souls. Turn something from nothing. Transmute negative energy into positive energy. Life will be a fight, but some people get off on that. Some people love being famous. Some people love the battle. Maybe you can play a game and before you come to earth you set certain rules, or maybe you get thrown in like a lion. There may be too many variables to predict the details. You plan out a general outline. You pick your family. Maybe as a soul I said “I have children. I am reunited with the love of my existence and we are married. The one that got away too fast. We love each other unconditionally. We never forget each other, even when life gets in the way. I overcome any obstacle. I am a badass woman. I am an amazing mother. I teach the world how to love babies properly. I solve problems. I do whatever I want and am given the credit I am deserving of. I bring people up with me.” Maybe as a soul you know all about manifesting, and you know you can’t account for the details. You can just intend to do something good with the world. You also can’t put a timeframe on it. Maybe I am kicking myself for including the word obstacles because I just had to be so cocky. Honestly though, I wouldn’t change a thing. My good is on its way. Why mess with it?