A Story of The Pill – A Warning

Until this happened I was a lot more trusting of my prescription drugs that I love. I’m a hippy, but I’m not that much of a hippy. I have had periods in my life where I adored my Clonazepam and Prozac. Prescription medication and antibiotics have helped me numerous times throughout my life. My favourite right now is my Zofran that stops the vomiting when I eat something I’m FPIES allergic to. Love it.

When I was in high school my chemistry teacher said “the first time I had sex I was such a bitch I made my boyfriend use two condoms, and he was such a loser he did it”. She was one classy lady. Maybe she was on to something. Doubly safe.

In 2013 I was without health insurance. I had been on fancy brand name birth control for a few months because a nice doctor at the walk in clinic gave me samples. When it ended, I got a prescription for said fancy brand name stuff but when I went to fill it at the pharmacy, I was in sticker shock. The pharmacist said not to worry, that the no name was exactly the same. I asked him about four times. I had only been dating my boyfriend for three months, I had no savings, and was living with my parents. Fuck, I couldn’t even afford the fancy name brand birth control. The pharmacist said it was exactly the same. I went on my way and I got pregnant that month. The first fucking month on it.

Now nay sayers will tell you that when you switch brands you need to be careful for a month but apparently I was given the one that was a match for what I was on. After my beautiful girl was born, (she ended up being loved, beautiful, wanted and perfect), I got an IUD. The doctor putting in my IUD went off like a mother fucker. He told me that the pharmacy makes more money off of no name and that no name birth control only has to be 80% effective. Now, I haven’t personally looked up the sats, but I would say if you a fertil mertil like myself, pay the extra bit for brand name. Be safe if you can’t get pregnant right now. If think birth control is expensive, you obviously haven’t been car seat shopping, jeez. Now I am deemed “too fertile for the pill” so it is celibacy, iud, or surgery. My ex husband had a vasectomy but right now I’m single and celibate. I’m considering getting another iud incase my lust hormones get the best of me but there are always condoms. I would say I would make the lucky guy wear two, but I feel like that would only work on a 14 year old.

Happy family planning.

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